The INTERVIEW

So like most things in my life, i have abandoned my blog again... 😒

This time though, it hasn't been as a result of unseriousness.. The job hunt in Lagos has got me SO WOUND UP!!! I now have a picture of what timaya and some of his counterparts in the Nigerian music industry meant when they said their respective 'hustles' began in Lagos!

Let me tell you about the job interview i attended..
"Fidelity Bank Plc. invites you for an interview with us on Friday 5th, May, 2017 @ Fidelity Bank HR Office, 269C Kofo Abayomi Victoria Island, Lagos by 9:00AM. (Please do not arrive before the specified time). Please come with the originals and copies of your credentials (4 CVs, birth, educational & NYSC certificates), a passport photo and a valid form of identification.We look forward to seeing you on Friday"
Finally!!! An invite! Even though a bank(most notably Fidelity bank) wasn't 4my idea of a dream job, i saw it as a step in the right direction... So out come my shirt and tie and my shiny SHOE.
Friday morning and I'm at the office, along with mt fellow hopefuls and i kid you not, i have never seen so many light skinned females in one place in my entire life(and I've been to the beach!). Nearly every female HR staff is light skinned! Anyways, focus! That's not what you came here for!!!
At every interview, there's always this guy that's been to ALL the other interviews and always has an idea what they are going to ask. Sure enough we had that guy and it didn't take long for him to start telling us about interviews he'd attended at cummins, kpmg, pwc, nnpc, accessbank and all the other companies in Nigeria. Well, at least we didn't have to sit through the waiting process in silence.
Soon it gets to my turn.. Sign of the cross, and i walk into the office. The Inquistion team introduces its members to me
Mr Eze. Cyril Stober lookalike. Same glasses too
Mrs Ihotu: Hot mum!!
Miss Uju: I could have sworn she was Sheyi Shay!!!
Mrs Kolawole: The 'let's get this over with' madam.
'So, let's get to know you'
I tell them the basics-engineer, chessplayer, scrabble, blah blah blah
'Just that? ' Apparently sheyi shay isn't satisfied with my answer
'I guess so'
'Tell us something personal about yourself', Sheyi shey wants more
Reminding my brain that this was a job interview i cook something up. 'I don't like physics as a subject'
4 jaws drop. Inquisition team refers to my cv. 'How were you able to graduate with a degree in ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING if you don't like physics?' Mr Eze can't hold it in.
'Well, i didn't let my dislike for the subject deter me from using it to get my degree'. Inquisitors relax
'Okay, so tell us how your course of study relates to the banking sector' Mrs Ihotu wants to join in on the fun.
Now, I'm a talker! And Mummy's taught me not to be afraid of anyone! So if you ask me a question i know the answer to, 10 out of 10 times you will absolutely love my answer! Mrs Ihotu loves my answer and passes the baton.
Evidently Mrs Kolawole has a prior appointment as she keeps checking her watch.
Mr Eze goes again. 'With the current technological evolution taking place in the banking industry, what major change do you foresee in 5years time'
I give him talk about artificial intelligence and bitcoins(thank you zarfund and mmm).
Finally Mrs Kolawole calls for adjournment of the Inquisition. 'I think we have heard enough from him. Can you start work next week?'
I tell them i can start at that instant and sheyi shey giggles. I can't help the smile on my face as i think I've floored the interview.
'Alright, we'll get back to you, thank you'
'Thank you'
As i make to leave, Mrs Ihotu stops me. 'Oh, and next time, when attending a bank interview, wear a shoe WITH LACES. And don't you have a suit? Please borrow one if you don't have. This is not how one dresses to a bank interview'
WHAAAAAAAAAT???? SHOE!!! My brain does a triple somersault and a huge wave of a feeling i can't explain rushes through my spine. One for the Inquisition Team!
I thank them once again and leave.


I'm still looking at bankers' shoes to this day.